Misshavok85's Journals

2009 Is Almost Over! Yay?

I thought 2009 was gonna be a good year (okay, it kinda was) but I didn't like it. 2010 is upon us! I even promised myself to get inked before this year ends. I'm also gonna try to go vegan. Family members laughed [My 12 year old nephew bet that I wouldn't last a day] and they didn't bother to support me. LAME!

2009 should be known as a "Death Year" because people all of a sudden died. Recently, Brittany Murphy (I liked her in "Girl, Interrupted", "Just Married", and "Clueless") died of cardiac arrest. I was so shocked. She was so young, talented and was always happy.

I found out through Twitter...at first I didn't believe it so I went to Google and typed her name. TMZ first reported it.

Ahhh I don't want to talk about Brittany Murphy's death. It freaks me out. To me, she's alive in my heart.

Anyway, I wonder what will 2010 will hold for me. I mean, I will be 25 [ew] in four months. Yes, turning 25 is an ew for me because I don't want to be this age. At all.

I wonder if I'll find love again. I DO miss my ex boyfriend in North Carolina though. Yes, I still have feelings for him.

My song ("Your Guardian Angel" by Red Jumpsuit Apparatus) he dedicated to me when we celebrated our third month together still plays in my head.

Well, I'm logging off. I have to do some last minute Christmas shopping in the EARLY morning!

XOXO
Miss Havok/Fatima Control

I'm Not Dead! [updated 12/1/09]

Whoa! I am back...how long has it been? Let's say forever shall we? Okay. 2009 is almost over! Seriously, where did time go? Here I'll update you on what happened, from family drama to friends, to, yes, even shows! On May 16, I got to see Aiden! I miss these guys so much! Nick sent emails to Aiden fans, but first he asked his fans on Twitter to email HIM, so I did and a bunch of fans.

He sent "promo" for their album "Knives" [It came out on May 12, and I picked it up as my {kinda} late birthday present] and me being all hyper on soda printed the album cover and a few other things.

Before I knew it, Nick asked fans on Twitter to email him again but this time with your name and what show you'll be attending. I knew I was attending the Knitting Factory show in Hollywood with Sarah and her friends Lynzee and Sean, who I both met at the Gerard signing in April. I had the money in case I didn't get to be on the guest list. I emailed Nick. Since I'm an atheist, I didn't pray. I just began to daydream.

A little voice told me two days later "Check your GMail. You're gonna get a surprise." I had high hopes mixed with "I'm nervous that I can't type my password" and BAM! The first email I get was from...yes..

My inner fangirl couldn't believe it. It took me about a minute for my mind to register that I was on the guest list. I told myself, "THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE!" it was like giving birth minus the pain, drugs and baby. I tweeted that I was on the list and I wanted to tell my mom that I've waited for this since '05, when I first started listening to Aiden. I didn't even tell my mom so I just played Aiden's new CD. I was happy that Nick paid for my ticket even though it was $6.66.

See the line behind us? That line grew by the minute.
Oh and did I mention I was the very first person in line?
[Me, Sarah, Lynzee, Sean]

The ticket Nick paid for. I love my camera for taking such a clear picture.

I would post pictures...but I'm not.This is not Aiden blog even though it looks like it is.

Okay....um Warped Tour! Did I go on June 26th with Diana? Hell-to-the-no! You people know why. If not let's just say that her mom and aunt are evil cunts. I wanted to go so bad but I had no money and no ride.

My dad didn't take me because he moved to Texas. Now why did he move there? He got a job offer and he's been living there since the beginning of summer.

On to drama! Yay! [Note my sarcasm]

My older cousin has legal drama. His wife is an evil cunt and she has full custody of their three kids. He's only allowed to see him at certain times. Kevin, the youngest, LOVES his dad. Brian, the middle one, hardly remembers him. You see, my older cuz was an alcoholic and a junkie but he found religion and got clean. He even proved it to the judge.

Want more drama? My sister and her hubby are separated and my niece and nephew are bummed out about it. They want them to get back together. I do too. They were high school sweehearts [-enter cheesy music-] and yeah...

Let's see...um...MY drama? Half [not all] of my "friends" are inconsiderate cunts. Note that I keep repeating the word "Cunt." "Cunt" has been replaced by my other insult "Skanky whore." Sara, yeah remember her? Well, she [and her friends] hung out with me. Out of pity. HOW EXCITING! -sarcasm- I asked her recently when are we gonna hang out again. She said "When my semester's over." Ha! Fine. You rather hang out with THESE people but not me? Oh I see!

[UPDATE 12/1/09]

Okay, I didn't get to update last night because my older cousin was over my house. He's still here because his boss gave him the day off. I have more of my drama...besides "friends" fucking me over. I did notice that NONE have ever asked me "Hey, want to go to a show? I have an extra ticket and I hate going to shows alone." Meh, I'm not gonna let it bother me anymore.

Back in February of this year, I went to an I Am Ghost show and there I met three girls named Ashley, Amanda and Alisha. I hung out with them [even Diana who was here for one day then she joined her family to China. She'll be back next year. I hope.] on September 26th and it was amazing! I had way more fun than I had with the the rest of my friends. Randomly, we went to Santa Monica. It was foggy but amazing! We headed to Bubba Gump Restaurant and Alisha lied to the waitress saying it was my birthday and we took pictures.

Alisha, Diana, Amanda, and Ashley
[Diana was wearing a HUGE shirt and didn't bother to wear pants]

Later, we went to Hollywood and we stopped at the Music Box [Henry Fonda Theater if you want to be fancy] where Billy Talent had a show.

No, we didn't see BT but we arrived right after the show ended.
I saw Billy Talent twice last year when they opened for My Chemical Romance in Las Vegas.

I FINALLY MET THEM! Alisha and Amanda didn't join Diana, Ashley and I because they were tired.

It was okay though. I wasn't mad at them. I was mad at Diana's mother for calling my phone and asking where I was. I didn't like my phone because it died after five minutes of being fully charged. So what did that cunt do? Call my mom to complain "Why isn't your daughter picking up her phone?!"

Whoa...getting off track...I guess I'm done blogging? Um...yeah...no wait! I saw Aiden again last summer. All I can tell you is that it was free, amazing and William stole my camera before he sang the next song. Wanna see?

I almost started crying because I usually don't let people use my camera.
He just snatched it from me like a little kid and it was HILARIOUS mixed with "DO NOT BREAK IT!"

Now I'm waiting for January to see Aiden again for "The Economy Sucks, Let's Party!" tour with Anti-Flag, Cancer Bats and Fireworks.

CAN'T WAIT!

XOXO
Miss Havok/Fatima Control

Song Playing: "Medicate"
By: AFI
Album: "Crash Love"

Gerard Way Signing At Citywalk

Well, I went to Citywalk for the Gerard Way signing.

Did I meet him? No.

Why? Well, here's how it happened.

I got up at 8am, and left at around 9am.

I got there by 11am. I arrived at Things From Another World and security told me "You can't line up yet."

What he didn't tell me is that you needed a wristband. -Fail-

I went to the bathroom and when I got back there was a HUGE LINE!

I was upset that he (security guy) didn't tell me!

But at least I took a pic as soon as he stepped out of TFAW. I'll type more later.

Woot!

Okay, this a short blog because I have to get up really early tomorrow.

Yeah, Bamboozle Left is tomorrow but I'm not going.

I'm going to Universal Citywalk to meet Gerard Way!

I finally get a chance to thank him since I didn't when I first met him.

BYE!

XOXO
Miss Havok

Song Playing: "Heaven Help Us"
Artist: My Chemical Romance

What I'm Planning To Do On My Birthday

In one month (and 26 days) I will be 24. I really don't want to be 24 but that's life I guess.

I want to go to New York...to be a tourist and to go to a show there. Wouldn't that be fun?

I would also like to take Diana but she's too crazy and plus, I hate her mother and aunt. A LOT!

Oh yes I'm checking flights to see how much it is. When I was 14, my 8th grade class were going to the East Coast but I couldn't make it because the shit was expensive.

Guess who went? The popular kids (AKA people I went to elementary school with and suddenly got popular for no reason) went! My best friend at the time Tiffany (who was an outcast like me) was planning to go too but when she found out that I couldn't, she felt bad and didn't even go. Mentioning that makes me happy even though this was 8-9 years ago.

I was planning to hit up Disneyland and spend it with Diana and Erika (omg. she LOVES Disneyland.) but I still have a month to decide. -sighs and yawns- Good night!

XOXO
Miss Havok

Song Playing: "Fell In Love With A Boy"
By: Joss Stone
Album: The Soul Sessions

Two Shows, Two Days, One Sore Girl [edited. fucking finally]

Ah...remember when I said that there was a slight chance I might miss Escape The Fate? Well, I didn't. But let's go in order because I am doing that right now.

On February 4th, I saw I Am Ghost for the third time at DiPiazza's, a little restaurant/bar in Long Beach. I didn't go alone (and even if I did, my mom would freak the fuck out) so I joined my friend Sarah and her friend Jon. She replied to my bulletin I made 5 days before the show. I'm so glad she did. The day started off with lots of drama involving me and my family.

I accidentally broke some stupid glass carafe at Lynn's house. Lynn is the wife of Denny and both of them hire me to watch their dogs for a few hours for a week (more or less) whenever they go out of town. Luckily, my mom and I found the LAST COFFEE MAKER (yes we bought that since we can't buy the carafe separately) and the cashier was one rude bitch. Instead of asking me nicely "Can you please put the coffee maker in the bag as I hold it?" she was like "Can you put that in?"

Ugh. Anyways, I ate some lunch since I was starving. I made the bed afterwards and Sarah called me to let me know she was on her way. I took a quick shower and picked out what I was gonna wear.

A few hours later Sarah and Jon arrive, they meet my mom and we headed off to Long Beach. I feared there would be a line but there was none. ^_^!

The show was amazing. The next day was my fourth Escape The Fate show. Now that show was hell because my friend's aunt was taking longer than usual and Diana and I got there as soon as Attack Attack! went on. We did buy merch...but DURING ESCAPE THE FATE'S SET! That bitch (her aunt) made us leave early DURING "SITUATIONS" AND "THIS WAR IS OURS (THE GUILLOTINE II)"! I know...you're probably thinking "Why did you call your friend's aunt a bitch?" Well, she pissed me off ever since called me and asked me the dumbest question ever "Why are you lining up early since the show doesn't start until 7pm?" -bangs fist on desk, then head-

updated [finally on feb. 25th.]

I got home shortly before midnight. I called my best friend Erika (yes best. she's been through major shit with me) and I told her to tell the guys I said hi. I was furious at Diana's aunt. On the way home, Diana gave Cindy [her anti-social towards me/rude towards me/"shy" towards me] some ETF CD's. I have their first two. [I don't need their latest since I have it.]

Ugh. I really hope I get to see Escape The Fate again on March 18th at HOB Sunset. I know how to get there. It's been a while since I stepped foot on the Metro station. [AHAHA! METRO STATION! pfft. I don't care for the band.]

Song Playing: "Video Kid"
By: The Birthday Massacre
Album: Nothing And Nowhere

A Goodbye To My Aunt

[Partially copied off my Blogspot.com entry. Parts were edited too.]

Yesterday...was horrible. I had lost another member of my family. My mom and I were at home. She was making dinner and I was about to watch TV.

A phone call came.

It was my dad.

I thought "Did the van break down again?" because I heard my mom in the verge of tears.

After she got off the phone, she announced to me that my aunt (my dad's sister) had passed away half an hour earlier.

Yes, it was a shock. I didn't cry...but before you call me heartless, let me tell you that I mourn differently. I couldn't believe that she died. She didn't have any kids (way before I was born she had a botched abortion. It made her reproductive system shit and couldn't bear children) and my mom had compared me to her. Everything that I do reminds my mom of her. Well, I'm gonna try to be active, move more, and live my life. My aunt wasn't active, wasn't sociable and would be in her room for hours...kinda like me...except I am sociable..when I want to be.

My dad was in Mexico but arrived too late. My aunt was buried at 2pm, Mexico time. He's coming back Saturday. I would have gone too but I didn't since I had to help out my mom clean the house she and I clean every Tuesday.

I wasn't on MySpace at all today and I'm sure I won't be on until Friday.

{R.I.P Aunt Leticia}

XOXO

Miss Havok

Song Playing: "Natural Blues"
By: Moby
Album: Play

-Happy Dance-

Diana convinced her mom we are gonna see Escape The Fate on February 5th!

Pretty damn awesome!

Now on the 4th I Am Ghost have a show in Long Beach at DiPiazza's and my dad doesn't want to take me...and I think that's pretty messed up. He took me to Pomona 4 times and Long Beach ONCE. YES ONCE! I'm gonna bug him until he gives in. It usually works. HAHAHA!

WISH ME LUCK!

[He even told me to take the Metro Blue Line. Wait. What? There's a Blue line?! Sweet!]

If I take the Blue line, I need the fare, hello!

I hope I see I Am Ghost again!

As for Escape The Fate, I can't wait! Diana and I are still in talks of what time to leave. Oooh, let's hope the line isn't that long. At IAG's record release show it wasn't that long and I made it to the barricade. By 6pm, the line grew. It's her first ETF show and, of course, my fourth.

I remember MY first ETF show. I was backstage at Warped Tour 2007 enjoying their set. Ronnie Radke gave me the "You're-Not-Supposed-To-Be-Here" look [which is a "WTF?" face mixed with a dirty look.]

BE GLAD RONNIE, MAX, MONTE, OMAR [?], OR ROBERT DIDN'T TELL ON ME!

Since I love taking photos with band members, I want to take a picture with James Hart (formely of Eighteen Visions) of Burn Halo. Why? Um...I don't know. AHAHA! I sound like a groupie.

My brother's exgirlfriend took this picture of James.

He was in the VIP area at the UC Irvine Bren Events Center when Avenged Sevenfold had a show there. I knew he was there, I just didn't want to annoy him. Kat had to convince the security guard to take James' picture. My douchebag brother ~~mistakenly~~ told me it was Jacoby Shaddix of Papa Roach. ASSHOLE! Telling me the wrong band member...-facepalm-

XOXO
Miss Havok

Song Playing: "Synesthesia"
By: AFI
Album: Sing The Sorrow [B-Side]

Parents....

I hate parents...especially my own. Around 9 this evening, I got a phone call from Dianas mom. That bitch told my mom about the Invisible Children benefit show in San Dimas...well, she didnt say "benefit"...I heard her say "Concert".

My mother told Dianas mom that I cant go anywhere because I didnt apply for jobs, or college.

WHAT THE FUCK?! Seriously?! I cant go ANYWHERE because of that?! Come on! Im fucking 23 years old! I dont need permission to go anywhere! My mom even said the good old "As long as you live under my roof, you have to follow my rules." Ugh! Theres a slight chance I might miss Escape The Fate next month. I hope I dont. I miss these guys and my goal in life is to not only meet Monte and Robert, but James Hart of Burn Halo (was in Eighteen Visions). Oh and I guess Im not going to Kat Von Ds signing in Hollywood. Diana is stuck in Hacienda Heights with her aunt and cousin (who by the ways, I dont even like. She says she listens to screamo but I dont believe that one bit) and cant make it to my house so we could take a train to Hollywood.

This is total, TOTAL bullshit.

My mom wants to kick me out. Who will I live with? Dont know!

-sigh-

XOXO
Miss Havok

Song Playing: "So, I Guess This Is Goodbye"
By: I Am Ghost
Album: Those We Leave Behind

BITCH!

No, this is not directed towards anyone...okay, I'm calling myself a bitch. Why? I don't know but I hate it. I have a feeling that I'm losing some of my friends. I am a bitch towards my former friend because she asks idiotic, nosy questions (like she asked me "How old are Justin and Jenny?" Justin and Jenny are my nephew and niece) and she repeats them too. I know I shouldn't be a bitch to her but how would you feel if she chose your former guy friend over you and her and said guy friend hang out a lot? Yup. This happened to me.

Anyway, my friends that I went to the Escape The Fate show with back in June, well, they don't talk to me that much anymore. I called Sara yesterday and left a voicemail. Did she call back? No. Is she mad at me? I don't know but I asked her that in the voicemail. I didn't feel like commenting Kim since she doesn't comment me that much anymore either.

What's wrong with me? I'm feeling pretty bummed. Sara and her friend Irah went to Kim's Le Cordon Bleu graduation at Santa Anita Race Track not too long ago (I don't know the exact date) and Sara left me a comment then saying she went. Um. Okay. That's good...but at the same time, bad. I didn't even know Kim was graduating!

-sigh- I have other friends but none of them are my true friends. My only best friend in the whole wide world is...ME! Yes me. I know that sounds self centered but it's true. I know me so well! -laughs- My dad told me that he wants to send me to a mental hospital because I talk to myself..a lot! He even called me crazy. Okay, maybe I am. Maybe I'm not.

I can't help talking to myself. It's a habit that I hope never goes away. Going to bed. Night!

XOXO
Miss Havok

PS-Starting today, I will post what I'm listening to. Below is what I'm currently playing.

Song Playing: "Don't Cry For Me"
By: William Control
Album: Hate Culture